these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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