She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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