I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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