I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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