cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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