I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
