she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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