dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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