Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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