As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
