You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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