I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
