At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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