i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i dont even know how to be here
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I didn't notice because vodka
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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