Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
