i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
