I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dignity is for republicans.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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