That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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