I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize