Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
