grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
