Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
