How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
