Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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