the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize