would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun