Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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