yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.