oh god the rape fog is back!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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