i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
