So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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