i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize