Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
