So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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