under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
