I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
