i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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