The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
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You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize