If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize