he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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