I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize