There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
