do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
