Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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