I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
