As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
