True but thats because hes a fetus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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