Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
