I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
