My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
