Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Even my vagina gasped.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
