Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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