I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.