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• (408): View more from California

  I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure

  Fav 28 733 1955

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• (850): View more from Florida

  come over anyways, right now, right this second

  (850): View more from Florida

  it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

  (561): View more from Florida

  wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

  Fav 28 1179 3381

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  What did you even date her?

  (214): View more from Texas

  because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.

  Fav 38 5190 1079

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

  Fav 34 7175 1762

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

  Fav 13 914 3983

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• (512): View more from Texas

  just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

  Fav 27 12077 1662

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him

  Fav 12 2722 1213

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

  Fav 4 2558 1254

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...

  Fav 6 749 1779

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!

  Fav 2 589 426

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.

  Fav 1 189 66

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.

  Fav 3 159 5

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today

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