The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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