the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
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that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet