Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.