I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
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Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today