The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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