This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
