My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize