Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Oh god it's open bar.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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