I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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