I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
