Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
