So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize