Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The struggles of a small town man whore
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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