My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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