There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize