He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
