oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
