dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Fuck appropriateness.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
