I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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