I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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