I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
