Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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