Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
